LABELS OR PUZZLE PIECES?
I've been reading a lot about how young people today are NOT defining themselves with the traditional Gay/Lesbian labels we older folks fought in the streets over. For example, there is an excellent article on the "Gay and Lesbian Review" website (www.GLReview.com) titled "The new Gay Teen: Shunning Labels". It talks about teens who are refusing to term themselves gay or lesbian despite having a same sex boy/girl - friend! Some of the teens in the article even argue that "gay and lesbian" is too restrictive for them as a label to fit with their political views. The article goes on to list 6 possible reasons why these teens are breaking out of the label box: 1. safety, 2. internalized homophobia, 3. fluidity (not permanent), 4. philosophy (they are gay, but don't regulate them to fit into neat boxes), 5. fit (many claim they are NOT "Will or Jack" from TV!), 6. Politics (some have very "out there" views). I found it fascinating that the article didn't really go into "stereotyping", only the "fit" reason mentioned in #5 above. Isn't stereotyping based off of our own fear when confronted with labels outside of our own boxes? Wouldn't you NOT want to be stereotyped by your friends? Does it really matter WHY these teens are choosing not to use gay/lesbian as a label?
Why yes it does.
I believe these teens are not using the basic gay/lesbian titles we have grown used to simply because they refuse to buy into their outdated connotations.
It took years before I finally admitted that I was an alcoholic because I could never view myself as the stereotype drunk I had pictured in my head. I would very often think to myself "at least I'm not as bad as him/her!". That changed when I became willing to see the havoc and chaos alcohol was causing in my life. During my IOP (Intensive Out Patient treatment), I never said I was an alcoholic, I simply had a "problem with alcohol" (today my recovery program has shown me why I am an alcoholic - I simply can't stop drinking on my own!). Even when I was struggling with my sexuality in highschool, it wasn't about the "gay" label for me. It was more about NOT wanting to be "different" from my friends; as in feeling more comfortable around girls 'cause the boys caused ALL these alienating, often confusing emotions in me. I really didn't struggle over being "gay" as much as I struggled over "being a fag" - i.e. that phantom sissy/nelly/girly guy that NONE of my friends wanted to be! Once I had it in my head that I WAS gay (i.e. liking guys!), I never thought of my sexuality as a "problem" for me! It was just a part of me that I chose NOT to share with certain individuals (for fear of my safety!).
My fear of being an alcoholic or a fag was really all that was in the way of me facing my true genetics - a drunk fag! I truly believe that I was BORN this way; no label attached. I've always shied away from labeling people around me. I've always approached and interacted with "individuals", not "labels". My friends are so much more than just gay, bi, transgendered, etc. They are also moms, teachers, retired, djs, interior designers, cat owners, dog owners, real estate mogels, etc. etc. etc.
I don't view my sexuality nor my recovery as "labels", they are smaller pieces to a larger, greater puzzle called Mark! With out them, and many, many other pieces, my puzzle wouldn't be whole. Embrace your puzzle pieces, don't be afraid to place them where they belong.
Why yes it does.
I believe these teens are not using the basic gay/lesbian titles we have grown used to simply because they refuse to buy into their outdated connotations.
It took years before I finally admitted that I was an alcoholic because I could never view myself as the stereotype drunk I had pictured in my head. I would very often think to myself "at least I'm not as bad as him/her!". That changed when I became willing to see the havoc and chaos alcohol was causing in my life. During my IOP (Intensive Out Patient treatment), I never said I was an alcoholic, I simply had a "problem with alcohol" (today my recovery program has shown me why I am an alcoholic - I simply can't stop drinking on my own!). Even when I was struggling with my sexuality in highschool, it wasn't about the "gay" label for me. It was more about NOT wanting to be "different" from my friends; as in feeling more comfortable around girls 'cause the boys caused ALL these alienating, often confusing emotions in me. I really didn't struggle over being "gay" as much as I struggled over "being a fag" - i.e. that phantom sissy/nelly/girly guy that NONE of my friends wanted to be! Once I had it in my head that I WAS gay (i.e. liking guys!), I never thought of my sexuality as a "problem" for me! It was just a part of me that I chose NOT to share with certain individuals (for fear of my safety!).
My fear of being an alcoholic or a fag was really all that was in the way of me facing my true genetics - a drunk fag! I truly believe that I was BORN this way; no label attached. I've always shied away from labeling people around me. I've always approached and interacted with "individuals", not "labels". My friends are so much more than just gay, bi, transgendered, etc. They are also moms, teachers, retired, djs, interior designers, cat owners, dog owners, real estate mogels, etc. etc. etc.
I don't view my sexuality nor my recovery as "labels", they are smaller pieces to a larger, greater puzzle called Mark! With out them, and many, many other pieces, my puzzle wouldn't be whole. Embrace your puzzle pieces, don't be afraid to place them where they belong.
posted by Unknown @ 11/15/2005 01:30:00 AM
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