BIENG A FRIEND

When I first got sober more than 3 years ago, I really, literally had only person I would call a friend. At the time, my lack of friends was not my fault - I blamed it on my Ex, my work... etc - everything and everyone else but ME.
Not until I got into a recovery program did I begin to realize that that are 2 parts to a friendship: having a friend AND being a friend! It was a slow, often difficult process, but I've learned how to be open enough to allow people to get to know me, trust me and really begin to care about me - as a friend. It NEVER occurred to me that THIS would happen to ME about THEM! Just as I felt I couldn't face a day with out alcohol, I really felt I would never develop friendships that would prove to be meaningful and long lasting.
Hence, the importance of the SECOND part of the friendship for me!
Being a friend has proven to be more difficult, some times, than remaining sober. It's because being the friend means having ALL this responsibility attached to ME! For example, once I have a friend, being a friend means I call THEM! I can't wait for my "Unlimited minutes" to kick in either! Or I can't assume they will always return MY phone messages! I'm a true believer in leaving silly voice messages, too. Anything, to bring a smile to my friend's face when they listen to their voice mail: a silly saying, a silly phone scam, or even just a sound bite of a song that makes me think of them!! I'll do anything to bring a smile to their face when they listen to my voice mail.
Another responsibility attached to being a friend is acceptance. I have to acceptance my friend under most ANY circumstances! Which can prove rather daunting once certain world views begin to make themselves known! And I know you KNOW what I'm talking about here!! lol
I think the most difficult responsibility I have being a friend is loyalty.
Why is this? Why would it be easier for my friend to flush our friendship down the toilet than actually face me honestly and talk openly about what happened? I have found myself disappointed time and again by friends who would rather NOT talk to me anymore or avoid my phone calls, rather than just talk face to face about whatever happened. I most often get angry that THEY are not calling ME back - for this or that reason. And then I start to form a huge resentment against them. Then, I stop calling THEM! lol. What a vicious cycle, right ?

See, the truth is, when it comes right down to it: its NOT my friends that start to avoid me or stop returning my phone calls - it's ME! I'm the one that does everything that I just described above- NOT my friends!
Being a friend means that I have to HUMBLE myself enough to pick up the phone, be honest and say "tell me what's wrong"and still love them no matter what they tell me!
I am truly blessed for all the friends I have in my life today. I love you all!!!!!!!
Have you called a friend today?
Mark